Senior year panic is normal

We’re asked questions and are expected to answer them our entire lives.

As a senior in college, being asked questions shouldn’t come as a surprise. But here’s some insight for freshmen, sophomores and juniors: If you think family and friends are asking you what your plans are after graduation a lot now, just wait until your last semester. It’s the only thing you talk about.

Some of my classmates are lucky enough to already have jobs lined up. And that’s great, really … for them. But for those of us who are going into job markets where they don’t hire over a year in advance, it’s not so great.

Here’s an example of the many conversations I’ve had this whole year:

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“Hey! It’s your last year at college, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. I’m in my fourth and final year.”

“Four years? Time sure does go fast, doesn’t it? It feels like last week you were singing in the children’s choir. What are you doing after college? Any jobs lined up around here? Do you think you’ll be moving out of town?”

This is where I panic before saying one of two things: “I have a few ideas right now, so I’m just weighing out my options,” or “Ah, great question! I have no idea. I’ve got time.”

What I really want to say is, “I don’t know, so everyone stop asking me!”

I don’t think people are out to get me when asking these types of questions. That’s not fair for me to project my own feelings onto them. They are probably just excited to hear what my next adventure will be.

What I find amusing is that I love new adventures – new anything, really. I swooned over fresh folders in first grade, adored my first day of school outfits in middle school and jumped at the opportunity to join a new club in high school. I used to rearrange the furniture in my room just for a change of pace. And meeting new people? Don’t get me started!

But those were adventures with little risk. Even transitioning from high school to college wasn’t too scary because I knew where I’d be for the next four years. Now we’re at a place in life where we seniors feel pressure from our family, professors, friends and especially ourselves to know exactly what we want to do with our lives.

But I’m not going into the big blue world empty-handed. I’ve learned plenty of life lessons and my resume is stacked with achievements and experience. So why all this fear of the unknown?

After breakdowns, hours spent in conversations and prayer and countless online job searches, I am realizing that this pressure from our loved ones to “figure it all out now” was all in my head.

Your family and friends want the best for you. While what they see as best might be different from how you see it, that doesn’t take away from the fact that they love and support you. Some pressure is good; it can motivate you. But a lot of it at once can feel suffocating.

Don’t forget, you also want what’s best for you. You might not know what that is right now. That’s OK. But if you lack self confidence, your job search will be difficult.

Not every one of us will get a job the day after graduation. This doesn’t lessen your human value.

Let’s take a step back. Think for a moment about your dream job. When I was younger, I wanted to become an *NSYNC back-up dancer. In elementary school, I fancied the idea of singing among the ranks of Hilary Duff, Michelle Branch and Destiny’s Child. My middle and high school years were spent working toward that goal – dancing, singing and acting in numerous plays and musicals. Now I’m still hoping to tell stories like I did on the stage but this time from behind a camera lens.

Who’s to say you won’t one day land that dream job? You are. Your own fears and hesitations are what will hold you back. Sure, the odds of me becoming a documentary producer this spring are low, but we don’t need to have it all figured out right now. Your dream job might also change. Humans develop and evolve over time; so will you and your career goals.

All I can do is focus on one decision each day. Today it was freshening up my online professional profiles. Tomorrow it’s choosing which news stations I’m contacting about a job.

Senior year came with more baggage than I anticipated. But it also comes with even greater joys, accomplishments and one big milestone.

Caroline Rode can be reached at rode8318@stthomas.edu.

2 Replies to “Senior year panic is normal”

  1. Wonderful, introspective and honest look at the senior year of college! Great things are in store! God guides us all!!

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