At the core of St. Thomas’ curriculum are 78 credits worth of classes that every student is required to take.
We dedicate a great deal of our college career to these generals. It’s where we learn how to “think analytically” and to “articulate and support moral and ethical judgments.”
If it weren’t for generals, I probably wouldn’t have discovered a love for English or revisited American history. I also wouldn’t have dissected a rat or watched a very graphic childbirth. Thank you for that, women’s biology. Those educational images will forever be sealed in my memory.
At any rate, I’m happy to walk away from college with a plethora of information that applies to more than my chosen career path. There’s just a few more topics I’d like to add to the mix.
Here’s a semester’s worth of practical generals that I think St. Thomas should consider offering so we can leave here with a new and improved core.
LOL 111: Generation Facebook
In 1990 when people liked pictures, they put them in frames. When they had a comment to make, they opened their mouths. When they wanted to creep on a person? Well, they were facing a lawsuit.
Today, these terms have gained new meaning. When someone references your profile, you know exactly what they’re talking about. And you don’t even think about it because it’s become second nature, as if “unfriending” was always a verb. That’s a testament to the power and force of Facebook. I think it’s only appropriate to teach us all how it really works.
Generation Facebook would explain the logic behind the “likes.” What does a person’s “About Me” really say about them? Why do some people update their status 12 times a day? How does choosing a profile picture construct one’s identity? Do we really like the things that we “like”? What is the function of poking, aside from making people feel weird?
HGTV 260: Home Economics: for real this time
Remember that class that you took one million years ago that included things like cooking, managing money and doing laundry? It was called Home-Ec and I would like a redo, please. Maybe I’m alone on this but when I was 14 years old, my list of priorities did not include detergent.
Unfortunately, now it does. I’m 22 and just discovering that I could use a lesson or two on ironing, changing a tire, maybe even putting together a desk from Ikea. Better yet, how on earth does one read a paper map? If this course falls through, I’ll just have to settle for asking Siri.
HTML 340: Dating in the Digital Age
Imagine this: A guy finds you on Tinder, asks you out on Twitter and you reply on Facebook. He emails to confirm, and you Snapchat a smile en route to dinner. At dinner, you Instagram a picture of your delightful little date. But then you go home, he friends you on LinkedIn and … his boss is your dad.
I have one word for this: nightmare.
All is fair in love and war, but not really. Today, relationships are messier than ever and sending simple social cues like “Hey, I am interested” are virtually impossible, no pun intended. Dating in the Digital Age would be a class that explains how to have a successful relationship that transcends technology. How does social media fuel fires? Why do relationships operate one way on the Internet and completely different behind close doors? Why am I single? Should I change my status?
To the professor assigned with this task, you will receive great karma for helping us understand.
TTYL 400: The Art of Multitasking
Finally, a class that addresses the reality we live in. Or rather, how to be productive in the reality we live in. Multitasking is no longer about talking on the cordless telephone while vacuuming the living room or doing your homework during the newest episode of “Friends.” Today, it’s an act of valor that includes everything above this paragraph plus work, internships, class and homework. I’d love to gain some insight on how best to do everything in my entire life at the same time. Is that so much to ask?
Carly Samuelson can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.